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Saturday, May 1, 2010

Emotions

A quick little note to cyberspace to hopefully get some things off my chest.
I'm finding myself rather emotional lately. So many reasons, all legitimate in my mind, but still emotional wreaks havoc on my mind.
The biggest whopper is Ciera's best friend (13) just found out that her mom has breast cancer and will begin chemo on Wednesday. Yeah, the odds are good that it will be a rough year, but she will kick cancer's arse. But the real kicker is that this incredible girl has already lost her father, around 2 or 3 and her mom is really all she has. She has a younger half brother and grandparents, but can ANYONE take the place of your parents? And even if she doesn't lose her, just the fact that she has to deal with the possibility at 13 breaks my heart! She's 13! She should be thinking only of herself and not having a care in the world! She signed up to run Race For the Cure for her mom and Ciera and I are going to run with her. Ciera and I both HAAAATE running, but it feels like the right thing to do.

Then we've got the end of the school year coming up and that always makes me emotional. However, I believe that my kids are leaving the school where they've been for the last 4 years and that leaves me feeling raw as well. It's been such a wonderful place for them, but they are both ready to spread their wings and move on to other things.
Which leaves Logan starting MIDDLE SCHOOL! I went to a K-8 and middle school freaks me the heck out! He's excited though and I'm trying REALLY hard not to project my fears onto him. I need to find others that have been through it recently to get a better idea of what to expect. I did hear some info today that has me feeling a little more relaxed.

Oh yeah, my baby boy turned 11 and although I love him to bits he's had be on the edge of my seat worrying that I'm screwing up as a parent of a boy. I know he goes through cycles and I feel like we may be heading out of this one, but I'm just freaking out a bit. I'm currently reading Raising Cain and am feeling a bit better about things. Time will tell!

The job seems secure, but there are days when I feel entirely inadequate and unprepared. I've been assured it's a rough period right now and even the well seasoned teacher is struggling.

Oh yeah, my youngest brother seems to be struggling with the death of a very close family friend and ex family member (both too young to have been lost) and seems to be pulling away from everyone and everything. He's been weighing on my mind a lot lately as well.

Those are the biggies, we'll see where we go from here, hopefully bed.