A quick little note to cyberspace to hopefully get some things off my chest.
I'm finding myself rather emotional lately. So many reasons, all legitimate in my mind, but still emotional wreaks havoc on my mind.
The biggest whopper is Ciera's best friend (13) just found out that her mom has breast cancer and will begin chemo on Wednesday. Yeah, the odds are good that it will be a rough year, but she will kick cancer's arse. But the real kicker is that this incredible girl has already lost her father, around 2 or 3 and her mom is really all she has. She has a younger half brother and grandparents, but can ANYONE take the place of your parents? And even if she doesn't lose her, just the fact that she has to deal with the possibility at 13 breaks my heart! She's 13! She should be thinking only of herself and not having a care in the world! She signed up to run Race For the Cure for her mom and Ciera and I are going to run with her. Ciera and I both HAAAATE running, but it feels like the right thing to do.
Then we've got the end of the school year coming up and that always makes me emotional. However, I believe that my kids are leaving the school where they've been for the last 4 years and that leaves me feeling raw as well. It's been such a wonderful place for them, but they are both ready to spread their wings and move on to other things.
Which leaves Logan starting MIDDLE SCHOOL! I went to a K-8 and middle school freaks me the heck out! He's excited though and I'm trying REALLY hard not to project my fears onto him. I need to find others that have been through it recently to get a better idea of what to expect. I did hear some info today that has me feeling a little more relaxed.
Oh yeah, my baby boy turned 11 and although I love him to bits he's had be on the edge of my seat worrying that I'm screwing up as a parent of a boy. I know he goes through cycles and I feel like we may be heading out of this one, but I'm just freaking out a bit. I'm currently reading Raising Cain and am feeling a bit better about things. Time will tell!
The job seems secure, but there are days when I feel entirely inadequate and unprepared. I've been assured it's a rough period right now and even the well seasoned teacher is struggling.
Oh yeah, my youngest brother seems to be struggling with the death of a very close family friend and ex family member (both too young to have been lost) and seems to be pulling away from everyone and everything. He's been weighing on my mind a lot lately as well.
Those are the biggies, we'll see where we go from here, hopefully bed.
June 27th..
10 years ago
6 comments:
That's really scary about Ciera's friends Mom. No wonder you are feeling overly emotional. Really proud of you for doing the run. You are setting such a wonderful example for you children of compassion and care.
Sometimes we can really feel powerless when life deals those we love bum hands. But everyone has a battle that they must face as awful and sometimes unfair as that is.
You have a very strong and supportive character and I know that those in your life are incredibly lucky to have you.
Sending you hugs and love.
I believe that our emotions can make us stronger --we just have to harness that energy and send it off into the world in a positive way.
I will be praying for Ciera's friends family during this time and am grateful that she has Ciera & you to lean on.
(((((((((((HUG)))))))))))
Thinking of you... keeping you in my prayers. Hope things improve for you.
Hey there, sorry I wasn't around to comment on this thread...I'd love to share my own experiences as I can totally relate with a 15 year old boy.
My son just completed his Grade 9 year in Highschool, and those emotions that you have now for middle school will resurface again when it comes time for highschool too.
It's hard...he's a baby when he's in elementary school...but then it's realizing he's growing up when he hits middle school. And growing up, means moodiness, early interests in sex and girls, secretiveness, and wanting a "seperate life" from his mom. That's a really hard transition...but normal one.
Middle school is really not that bad. I imagine middle school is Grade 6 for you...if you can over the summer and haven't yet already, I would start to talk to him about sex, healthy relationships and all that goes with it. Because he WILL learn it in middle school, some by teachers, but mostly by other students. YOu might be thinking really at 11? Hes just a baby...I thought that anyway...I was shocked to learn that 12 year old were actually doing it. Sigh. And it's not just sex, talk about oral sex too, since that is the new biggest thing.
Besides that, middle school is pretty much like elementary school with a big more freedom and expectations of independance. He might not want Momma around as much as he use to....for fear of being teased. I think that's just a natural progession of boys growing up.
And as to moods....your just starting when it comes to that. They are moody, but you've been through it before with Ciera and so I'm sure you know what to expect. That being said, boys tend to keep more of their feelings inside, and then have "outbursts" so you have to watch for that...and try to find the underlying reasons for such outbursts.
Good luck....my son's 15 and it's really really hard. But it does get better...already at 15 I am seeing big changes for the good.
Hugs hon. Oh and I'm so sorry for Cieras friends mother...that is so sad and yet inspiring that you all are standing with her in this fight over such a terrible disease. SHE WILL beat this!
I'm so sorry to hear about Cieras friends mom, how terribly sad. Yet inspiring to know that you are all standing with her to fight such a terrible disease. SHE WILL BEAT THIS!
As to Middle School I can totally relate to your feelings as my son just entered high school. You will feel the same way again once he starts highschool. When their in elementary school their still like babies....you know, Kindergarden was not far away...middle school however means your little boy is growing up.
If I can recommend one thing is that you teach your son before he starts school (if you haven't already that is) about sex. Sex, oral sex and healthy relationships. he will be learning it in middle school, some by the teachers but mostly by other kids. It's shocking cause you think really? He's only 11, It was hard for me to grasp anyway, I was shocked to learn that lots of boys were actually doing it at only 12. But it's better if you teach it to him than he learn it on the school grounds by some other kid with only half the facts. Even oral sex, as that's the newest thing with kids nowadays. Times are so different than they were.
He's growing up....he's confused and most likely moody to say the least. You've got some experience with Ciera but it's a little different with boys. One thing I've noticed is that boys tend to keep alot to themselves, and then they have these random outbursts. The key is to try to find out what's behind the outburst too.
My son is 15 and just finished his first year of highschool....and I'm starting to see big changes in him for the better. Those pre-teen years are hard...up until about 16ish...I think it's starting to get a little easier now...as I'm starting to get the hang of it. That's not to say that we don't have some bad days too.
Also middle school they give more independance, more freedom to take charge of their own schooling while expecting them to be responsible for their actions. Still maintain that contact with the school....working as a team is best...but dont' be surprised if he doesn't want his momma hanging around too much for fear of being teased. It's hard....to do this transition and to try to understand the randomness of raising teen boys. You just have to make your way through this mindfield all the while saying "his brain is under construction" and "I will get through this". Raising teen boys is more about surviving than anything else.
Good luck, and trust that all that you taught him will take him to the other side.
Hugs...I feel for you hun
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